January 13, 2012
In news to dwarf 2012 doomsday predictions, Hulk Hogan has announced he will shave off his iconic moustache.
Undoubtedly the most famous piece of face fungus in the universe, Hogan's handlebar man-tache has spent decades ushering in countless pro wrestling titles and B-grade movie cameos.
Such is its thickness and degree of cultivation, Hogan's crumb catcher is more of a T-Bone catcher, and legend has it, a passing condor once got caught up in it like a fly in a spider's web.
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Hogan says he's finally ready to shear away his menacing grassy grin in an effort to land movie roles (he's clearly sick of playing himself).
Hogan told TMZ, "I'm getting ready to go on some auditions. I'm getting ready to shave my head and my mustache. So that should be scary ..." (so should his efforts as a credible actor).
The American Mustache Institute goes as far as saying, "Angels will DIE if Hulk Hogan shaves his mustache," and it's hard to disagree.
TMZ spoke with Dr. Aaron Perlut, Chairman of the American Mustache Institute and self-professed doctor of "nuclear mustacheology", who says, "Not only would the removal of his lower nose foliage cause angels in heaven to die and fall to earth, as is written in biblical texts, but it would send a poor message to young people of Mustached American descent who wish to embrace the Mustached American experience."
"We do hope that Mr. Hogan, for whom we have great reverence, reconsiders shaving his upper lip shading device as millions of those he has inspired would be greatly let down, leading to mass chaos and deep bouts of depression."
We can already feeling it coming on.
Your say: Will Hulk Hogan's mo be remembered as the greatest ever? If, not, whose will?
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